Differently Enable vs. Disabled

This is a concept that I have been contemplating since last semester when I took Understanding Human Communication. In the textbook, “Understanding Human Communication”, Christopher Conklin is explained the following way: he was “born with abnormal arms. His left arm extends to the elbow then has one fleshy finger; his right arm is longer and has two fingers.” (Adler, 302) Yet, Chris says he is “differently enable, rather than disabled.” (Adler, 302) I see such truth in this statement, as I’m learning to see myself differently enabled rather than disabled too.

The journey with Myasthenia Gravis was terrifying at times but I mostly lived in a state of blissful denial. I found this place rather satisfying; after all I looked basically normal. I mean the snarl was easily dismissed as a funny looking smile and the constant tripping and falling down as good old clumsiness and even after the steroids when I popped like a blow fish the stretch marks where easily explainable as “I just got fat fast.” No matter the disability I was facing I quickly dismissed them and ignored what the cost of it all was.

But with POTS things have been so different. Maybe it’s the duration…Maybe it’s the intensity… Maybe it’s the timing… Maybe it’s having a friend that refuses to let me live in denial… Maybe it’s the age—I’m older now and supposed to be independent but I can’t be, no matter the reason, denial hasn’t worked for me in ignoring the fact that I have a disability this time.

Webster defined disability as the inability to do something (1) deprivation or lack especially of physical, intellectual, or emotional capacity or fitness (2) the inability to pursue an occupation or perform services for wages because of physical or mental impairment (3) a physical or mental illness, injury, or condition that incapacitiates in any way.

POTS has been a journey in through and all around the world of disability. I was 21 years old when I became sick with POTS. I lost my academic career, my job, most of my friends, and watched as countless dreams went up in smoke. I became confined to a wheelchair were I was fully dependent upon others for my most basic needs. It was HUMILATING! Not only does it pose enormous physical challenges, but the POTS and head/brain injury challenged my intellectual and emotional capabilities. Inabilities and deprivation seemed to become my new world.

It’s been a hard, nearly 6 years and by the Grace of God I’m better each day. You see I still have POTS and yet I’m gaining a life back. It seems I’m learning to live enabled differently rather then as disabled. In June, over a weekend camping trip (yes, I was able to go camping in JUNE!!) I went on a 12-mile bike ride—4 miles the first day and 8 miles the second day. I know it’s sounds IMPOSSIBLE for a POTS patient and especially for me but get this… I was enabled!!! I went during the cool of the day, used a tricycle, attached my two pulling dogs, and with April’s extra tug on the hills, I did it! Using all these techniques I was given back a huge part of my life I felt was lost.

My wheelchair, my cooling bandana, my tricycle, my dogs, my medicines, and even my glasses or a warm coat are all things that make my inabilities shrink and my abilities grow. They enable me to do things impossible to me otherwise. It’s still hard at times for me not to look at these things and feel ashamed because I need them but I can’t help but be so thankful that I have them because of what they give me back in life. I’m trying to take the lesson that Christopher Conklin teaches and truly see myself and others as differently enabled instead of disabled when we use the gifts God has given us in the form of tools.  These tools simple enhance our lives, so that we may enhance the lives of others.

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